Gary of India shares his experiences with tantric sex and BDSM
I’m happy to introduce you to our newest kink interviewee, Gary. I believe Gary is our first interviewee from India and he has shared some great stories about his love of various kinks, combined with tantric sex, as well as the socio-sexual climate in his country. Gary is also looking for hot new erotica for his online businesses, so all you writers might want to drop him a line to learn more!
Please tell us, what is your kink?
I have a lot of kinks and when I get into them or use them all depends on what I’m on about (mood, etc etc). Like for example on days when I’m back from a tiring day of work – I’d like to just slip into bed after a shower and get me a nice rub down starting with my feet right up to me head, and all this invariably ends with a session of wild, sometimes tied down sex or just a nice vanilla session. And then on days when I have all the time in the world – I get out my favourites – “lil” pieces of rope – nipple clamps, blind folds and the likes – nothing beats a mixture of tantric sex, a little pain, and some ordering around in bed. So I would say – I don’t really have a particular kink, but being a kinkster who on most times tops from the bottom and, a great believer in spicing up relationships through one’s sex life – I’d go with something as simple as – “Unconventional and fun”. Though all said and done – I have a major fetish for feet, round-big arses, cunnilingus, tattoos, piercings and lately my curiousity level of wax play has heightened.
How common do you think your kinks are?
The blend of Tantric sex and a bit of here and there kinks is not very popular in a place like India. However, on a overall point of view I feel that everyone has a kink. Saying this; not many people are into say – being tied up. I remember in my transferring from vanilla days – there was this girl who I asked if I could tie her down, blindfold her and go down on her, after she reached her first orgasm she was like “I think you need to untie me now” with a sort of tone that said – I dont like this… So I did and she humped me straight up. The morale of the story here being people in India here are not very open to anything that is remotely kink play – they’ll just rather go the vanilla way all the while keeping they curiousity levels intact. On the other hand I have come across a lot of women who have been opened to not only being tied down but serious ass dominating or submissive trips in life, but a very small percentage compared to the vanilla flavored that you find here. In India, it’s a boon to be in a relationship which plays on those lines – it’s really sad.
Does your set of kinks, or people who participate in it, have any catchy titles?
Not really! There no such catchy title, but I like calling it regular sex for me!
How did you become interested in kink?
I got sort of introduced to it through a friend, my turning 18 birthday bash. What happened was – some of my really close friends knew this girl who was a decade older and she was into hardcore BDSM, and as they say the rest is histroy (she did do a number on me ). However, it was not till about four years back that I got into kink play, I figured that being in charge of how I feel when I have sex was the thing to do to really enjoy sex. It started out as sex where in I was more of the submissive with me at times topping, which in turn became the other way around when I got into Tantric Sex. So, on the whole it has been more of a journey getting into the lifestyle – from this to that and that to this, and I don’t think the journey is in any point over. I feel there is always something you learn as you move on in life, sex included.
How did you come to start your own business in this area?
My business is not yet started, but it is in its infant stages. It was just an idea that was being played around with which became a reality when I bought a domain in a drunken state and did not know what to do with it.
What are your favorite parts of developing your job?
The research as of now. I get to surf the best of erotica – something which I love if written well. Though at times it’s not all nice going. So, if any one of you writes good erotica and want a directory to put it up let me know and that includes photography.
What are somethings you really wish more people knew about your kink?
I really wish people were open to the idea, I mean I come across so many people who don’t even want to try it and say something in the lines of “I don’t like it” or “I detest the idea of it”. How can you possibly say that you don’t like something you have not tried? I mean – the adrenaline that comes with the waiting game or say the multiple orgasm or either way – is something that cannot be described and will never be the same (atleast for me) in Vanilla.
How do you incorporate your kink into your sexual experiences?
Incorporating my kinks is not that hard, I mean I am with a certain person because that person is into the same lifestyle. As far as “how” goes – A lot of tying up and controlling the situation is the most part of my play – on most days and nights. Though, all said and done, I would like to someday incorporate a sort of system as to how and why kinks of a certain genre get triggered off so I can take hold of the situation in a better way.
Is there anything you have to be particularly careful about with this kink? If so, how do you handle it?
Not really. That’s how human friendly it is. Though rope burn marks is something to look out for, esp if you have the next morning.
What really works for you about this kink, what aspects turn you on?
The total control factor of the sessions flow is a total adrenaline rush. It’s on the lines of bungee jumping if you ask me. The sense of power that comes with every move, every flick, every possible exit point is a total turn on. I also get off (not literally) on getting the other person off, the look of pure natural born ecstacy on her face is big big turn on.
Would you please tell us a story or two about sexual experiences you’ve had involving your kink?
Well, two of them – I’ll give you one where I’ve been the submissive and one where I’ve been the dominating one.
Submissive – I met this girl once who was a good switch (though she bottomed from the top) who was on this exploration trip, so I was lying there – back down, tied up and being played around with hot wax. Next I know – she had me kneeling begging to be gotten off while I kissed her feet, all this while I had my hands tied behind my back. She finally gave in and fucked me silly while she sucked on my toes, and my hands were still tied. When I came – I came like a fucking horse.
Dominative – I had this thing going with another girl – that she was my kitten (though, I’m not a big fan of role playing) – I got her to do things like purr instead of moan (which if you ask me, thinking is pretty hard when you’re on the brink of orgasming) and if she didn’t she would be denied an orgasm. Then she wouldn’t be allowed to use the loo unless she asked me like most pets do, things like that. It was good fun, she enjoyed it as much as I did, she also said something in the lines of this being the best sex she’s had.
How do people react when you share your kink with them, if anyone knows?
Some go “Freak!” some just laugh it off and some just want to get with me. Either way – I don’t really care unless they want to get with me, then again I’m pretty choosy when it comes to picking someone.
How do you go about finding partners that share your interest?
It’s not really hard, I’ve always believed in the fact that all people have kinks, just that certain people have ‘certain’ kinks that you enjoy. And it’s all boils down to knowing who wants what. I’ve met people at friends drink-ins and I’ve met people who share the same likes at church. Yes, I said church!
Can you recommend any resources for people who want to learn more or might even share your kink?
Thebeautifulkind.com – that’s one website I’ve been fixed to, like, forever. Your website, and Fetlife – It’s actually very educating as much it’s a social network.
Anything else you would like to add?
A woman who likes a certain kink is not a whore, she just likes her sex in a certain way. I say this because that’s the type of mindframe that goes around in this country.
Thank you so much for taking the time to interview with us, Gary! Interested readers can check out Gary at his three websites:
http://undisclosedvacation.com
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This post, Kink Interview: Tantric and BDSM Sex From India, originally appeared on Exploring Intimacy on November 12, 2009. Visit the site for much more information! Tweet This
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